This may also be a little too edgy for a festive occasion. It starts out nicely enough, then kind of starts to grit its teeth round about verse 18 (the third paragraph here). I suppose we could cut that part, but I *like* its unflinching approach to adversity; it’s very much in line with my own sense of karma. Then again, should adversity even come up on a day of celebration?
Romans 12:9-21
Let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good; love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honour. Do not lag in zeal, be ardent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in suffering, persevere in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints; extend hospitality to strangers.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another; do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly; do not claim to be wiser than you are. Do not repay anyone evil for evil, but take thought for what is noble in the sight of all. If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave room for the wrath of God; for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’ No, ‘if your enemies are hungry, feed them; if they are thirsty, give them something to drink; for by doing this you will heap burning coals on their heads.’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
solvitur ambulando 
this is my favorite too, always has been. We selected it for my Dad’s funeral, and I got the feeling it was a somewhat radical choice but nothing could have suited him, or described him, better.
Are you particularly attached to this translation? I could dig up the version I used which is a bit kinder & gentler.
I say go for it!
JC
You know, there is this passage in the hagaddah that instructs the father of the family to “set his [son’s] teeth on edge” when the wicked son speaks, which is to say, when the son speaks wickedly. I always found this idiom fascinating and bizarre but, in any case, difficult to reconcile with Jewish ideas of fatherhood, or my own ideas, for that matter. It was not until the 3rd millenium that I discovered the true meaning of what I had always seen translated as “set one’s teeth on edge”:
“…The author of the haggadah tells the head of the family, when confronted by a child who excludes himself from the family ritual, to ‘hak’heh’ his teeth; not the familiar Hebrew form haceh, which means to strike or hit, but rather the unusual Hebrew hak’heh, which means to blunt or remove the sharpness by means of the warmth of fire (Ecclesiastes 10:10; B. T. Yevamot 110b)… And don’t tell it to him matter-of-factly by rote or harshly with animus. Tell it to him with the flame and passion of fire which blunts sharp iron, with the warmth and love of a family which is claiming and welcoming its own as one who belongs – no matter what! Encourage him to take part in and feel a part of the familial – national celebration. Then, but only then, will he feel redeemed.” (http://www.ohrtorahstone.org.il/parsha/5763/metzora63.htm)
I think this is the most unexpected valuable commentary I have ever read on the Jewish tradition. If you can, see what you can do with your historic-linguistic talents to reveal the original meaning of “heap coals upon one’s head” — there may be something equally lovely there, I’m guessing.
We used this for our wedding — but like JC, we used a slightly different translation. We cut all of the third paragraph except the last line, which I love.
It may not be for everyone, but I admire your willingness to acknowledge the other side of the coin. Gladness and sorrow are both necessary, one requiring the other. We are wise to remember that.
And I agree with Peter – the “burning coals” image seems mistranslated. Perhaps the Episcopalian church would allow you an alternate translation.
I just looked further down — we also used Sandman’s favorite Old Testament! (Edited that one, too.)